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“I think a real power woman is someone who is in touch with her own intrinsic, inalienable value and worth and has the ability to bring it out in other people.”
What makes a Power Woman?
When I think of a power woman, honestly, I think it’s someone who is tapped into her own intrinsic power. I think we live in a space where so many people tell women what their power should be, if at all. And I think a real power woman is someone who is in touch with her own intrinsic, inalienable value and worth and has the ability to bring it out in other people. That to me is the power of compassion and connection and progress. A very fine woman I met told me about celebrating someone with an audience. It’s about the investment that others have given to us and paying that forward. Right.
I think confident people give space to others. Confident people hold space for others. Just have the courage to smile first. And a smile is a sign of confidence and openness and a willingness for connection.
The polarized society in us today seems threatened. And our democratic values, if not our democracy, if it’s not our democracy itself, what actions can we take to bring the various fractured US fractions together?
I have one answer and one answer only and I believe in it to my core. And of course, I am influenced by the fact that I’m a journalist. But the answer for me is open, pure questions. That is the thing that I see. I would like go to my grave believing in the power, the healing power, of questions. Nothing gets lost if we are willing to ask questions that are pure and intentional, and truly suspend our judgment and our assumption to wait for the answer. I think there’s so much mistrust right now. I think there’s so much mistrust when it comes to the media. I think there’s so much mistrust about the source of other information. And I think that there’s so much mistrust between people, each other. And I think that you talk about divisiveness, that divisiveness exists because I don’t think we’re holding space to truly ask open ended questions. And risk listening. Like risk really listening. And that’s what I don’t see a lot of. And I have seen, however, the healing power that comes when you do, when you risk it. I have seen it in real time, doing this work. I think we spend so much time looking for answers that we’re not paying attention to the questions right under our nose. And I think those questions are far more important than the end.
With all of the different issues that we’re focused with, and thrown at us from child poverty to gun violence and everything in between. Gender equality is also a pressing topic in today’s world. What do you feel is a pursuit for gender equality?
I think gender equality is among the most pressing. And I say that because the way that a society treats its women tells you how a society values itself. You cannot value your democracy and value equality and value all of our values essentially that you espouse as a country and mistreat 50% of your population. I also think there is a lot of work to be done with racial equality. When I think about gender equality as a woman of color, I often think about the confluence of factors that lead to inequality. I often think about the way that race and culture and class interact with gender and sexuality, to produce a set of circumstances in this society that may or may not be equal at all times. So I have a hard time sort of ranking them because I feel as a society, we have to look, I think we have to look at it all. But honestly, I think we have to check our biases. I feel like when people are talking about gender equality or when they’re talking about racial equality, they’re waiting for some big gotcha moment, like they’re waiting for a slur and it doesn’t generally look like that anymore. Like mistreating a woman, it is creating a set of circumstances that makes it harder for her to get a promotion, that makes it harder for her to put food on her table, that makes it harder for her to have childcare or make decisions about her body. Those are a set of circumstances that create unequal situations for women, and especially women of color. It’s much more nuanced now because our society is more nuanced. And I think we have to check a lot of those biases that are implicit that go undetected. And we have to trust women when they say they happen. We have to trust women. We have to trust black women. We have to trust women of color. Right? When they say that these things are happening and we have to believe them.
Is there a personal short story that you feel you might have encountered some kind of block because of who you were, whether it was gender, or just who you were from where you come from?
I think about that a lot. I don’t think that I have. I think I would have to think about that and give you a story worth printing. Because the first thing that comes to my mind is, I think about being a rookie reporter. And there were certain assignments that I suspected I didn’t have as much of a shot in having because I was a woman. Like there were certain types of assignments that people associated sort of with male toughness and masculinity and that women were considered to be softer, have a lighter touch in certain spaces. But I feel like I can’t answer that question fully without, like, impugning my employer.
There are many studies that talk about the female presence in the boardroom; that if you have female representation on a board, how much of a healthier work environment that creates. What can we do to continue to support and enhance the growth and presence of women in high profile positions? What do you feel is missing that we should be doing?
I think it’s making room. I think it’s making room and I think that’s part of who’s making room for each other in real time. This is not a boardroom, this is a newsroom. But I think about when I was going up for trying to get my first local job, and there’s someone who actually works with me now, who back in the day they quietly called me and said, hey, I’m leaving this position in my local newsroom. If you want to come, I will give you the number for the news director and you can come apply for my job. And I did not get that job, but I never forgot the difference between mentorship and sponsorship. Instead of just saying, hey, I’ll mentor you and I’ll write you a letter of recommendation for this newsroom job or boardroom position. She said, I will actually sponsor you and put my name and my value behind you and leverage it to try to help you to create a space and a meaningful difference in your life and career and ability to provide for yourself. And I think that’s what’s missing. I think it’s really huge and part of that comes to representation. Representation is so you have a critical mass of diversity of perspective and power so that we can create space for more women who come behind us. It’s not just symbolic.
Was there a defining moment in your life that led you to where you are today?
The bottom line is I got rejected from journalism school and it changed the direction in my career. And it was something that I was very ashamed to tell people for a long time because I felt like a failure. And when I finally did, it was the best decision I ever made, because I think so many people saw themselves in me, and were so afraid to share their failure. And I think, for me, perfection is just not particularly relatable. And I kind of think about how every failure sort of was this really profound blessing in my life. But long story short, I got rejected from journalism school and I had to create my own path. And I think it was sort of a foreshadowing of a lesson I got as a now grown woman that I think it’s so much more important to build a dream than to have a dream. And that’s what I think a Power Woman does. A powerful woman says, you may tell me no, you may close the door in my face, and still, I will manufacture a path.
The political landscape over the past years for women is changing. Do you feel the landscape has changed?
I feel like the political landscape has changed with women, particularly for women. I think the personal stakes have become much higher. I think politics has become personal in a way that it has never been before. I think it has become personal in terms of which parts of our identity are more pronounced and which parts of our identity we are most in touch with when it comes to voting. But I think more than anything for women, politics now is so personal and it affects their day to day lives in a way that I’m not sure we measured or saw before. I think about kitchen table issues. I think about the economy. I think that looks a lot different for women. In terms of how they think about the economy, how they feel about the economy. There’s so much data now that shows that our economic reality and our economic perception, there’s a delta between the two. And I think it also has to do with our bodies. I think it has to do with the most fundamental elements of who we are as women: psychologically, emotionally, physically. And we, I don’t think, have seen politics touch that in the way it has. So I think the political landscape is changing and that it has become more charged and that the personal stakes are higher than I believe that they have ever been for women.
When we talk about education, education is one of the top three responsibilities of civilized society. Why is it prohibitively expensive? It’s never made sense to me. And the more I learn about it, the more angry it makes me for the young people. What are your thoughts on that?
I do deeply believe in everyone’s right to choose what their own education should look like and can look like. I don’t think I have an answer that is worthy of print on this topic. I love education, and I think that there are people far better than me who can give a better answer on that. I don’t have an answer because it is like one of the questions that keeps me up at night. And I would love to hear in these interviews, in this coffee book, among these women, someone who is an expert in that space and has a creative answer because that I will be turning the pages to find that woman, because I think it is one of the areas where we most need critical progress, critical support, and critical change.
If you could have somebody else’s job for a day, what would be the profession and who would it be?
I want to be president for a day, but I think I’m too late. I think we’re good. I’d love to be an ambassador to Cuba. I love to work at a U.S intersection in Cuba.
What is your favorite book?
Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy. I was literally trying to figure out how if I had a boy, to figure out a way to get part of his name in my child’s name. That is how profound I find his writing to be. He is a southern gem from the low country, South Carolina, and he captures the spirit of the South, where I’m from, in such an authentic and unique way that I always can remember home whenever I open his pages.
What trait are you most uncomfortable with in yourself and in others?
People pleasing I think I am a perpetual people pleaser and I wish I had better boundaries.
What do you consider is the most overrated virtue?
The most overrated virtue. That’s funny, because my brain immediately went to what is the most underrated virtue. I think politeness is super underrated. And I wish people focused on being more polite. Oh, I know, I think fitting in is overrated. I think fitting in is overrated. I think people’s superpower comes from their standard deviation. Like, whatever degree they are deviated from any given standard. I think fitting in is really overrated.
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